i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
