Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i already hear my dad disowning me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
