My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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