then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
