He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just had sex bonerless
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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