I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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