Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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