she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
as a side note pls kill me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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