So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
