If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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