She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
