Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize