if you like me you must not know who I am
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
