toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He felt like a one man threesome
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize