I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
