dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
