I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Boobs are out for the taking
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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