we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
