i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
