i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
