I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
