U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
