i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
