the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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