Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Help. Why am I so naked?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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