remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
