I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
