I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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