i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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