the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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