Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Houston, we have a squirter
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
