strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she peed on how many people?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
