I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
