I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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