I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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