fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
