Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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