Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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