I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize