Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
