best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
