It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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