Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize