Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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