So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
