i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
