:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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