can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I forget how to act sober
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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