party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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