I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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