yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
