Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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