So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
