we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
