Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
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