there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
