He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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