i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
