I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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