it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
