Don't you send me to vm
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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