Whod you bang
White coat. Heels.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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