you win again, gameday.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
