I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize